chops abroad: Hamburger-Bahnhof: sadly, no burgers, but a talking penis. Yep.

Upon awakening on Thursday, my last full day in Berlin, I felt overwhelmed by the amount of things I wanted to do before leaving. I believe the key to success is knowing one's strengths, so with this in mind, I chose to focus on what I'm good at: going to art museums and shopping in gallery bookshops.

A girl I met in Stockholm recommended Hamburger-Bahnhof to me, Berlin's centre for contemporary art. It did not disappoint.

Hamburger-Bahnhof is a disused railway station, which now houses a modestly sized collection of contemporary art. Structurally, the space is pretty amazing. It's been used well to transform the station into its current usage as a gallery.

The Bahnhof has two major strengths: land art and video installations. I find the former interesting, but the latter generally bores me. However, because I am immature, I did watch this piece for quite a while. It's just a man's head, upside down, speaking to the camera. The only reason it captivated me, however, is because it looked like a talking penis. With teeth.

I quite liked a number of the pieces for reasons that weren't entirely puerile. Richard Long's work, Berlin Circles, in the main hall, was my first introduction to the land art movement, and I was quite taken with it. Land art is a form in which the artist creates work by interacting with the landscape. In Long's case, sometimes he walked in a straight line for, like, AGES, and the line that he created is the artwork. In this exhibition, his focus was on the circle as a natural form. The scale of these pieces was truly impressive.

There was another piece that I really liked, which was Roth's Gartenskulptur. The poorly photographed wall text, below, contextualises the work.

Without this description of the evolution of the piece, it kind of resembles some weird Survivor immunity challenge, only with less of Jeff Probst's forearms and more stuffed rabbits. But it was a really enjoyable piece.

I quite liked a Polaroid exhibition called Secret Universe from German artist Horst Ademeit. Again, please trust what the professionals say as opposed to my ham-fisted attempts to describe the work.

Ademeit photographed the same stuff every day over decades -- mainly the readings on scientific instruments. He took tiny notes in the white space around the Polaroids (but thoughtlessly wrote these in Deutsche, so I couldn't read them).

One thing I admired about this work was Ademeit's commitment to documentation, which predates digital photography. If I had any desire to record and publish something every day (say, the lovehearts in the crema of my coffee, or the toothpaste I spit into the sink), I could do so quite easily, with minimal time and expenditure. That doesn't mean anyone would give a shit, mind you -- but that's beside the point.

My point, and I assure you I actually have one, is that Ademeit felt strongly enough about documenting continuity and change that he undertook this enormous project over many years, when photography was a far more expensive and risky undertaking than it is now. So hats off to Horst.

There were quite a few other things I enjoyed about Hamburger-Bahnhof. I've always liked Warhol's serigraphy, and the collection includes a few impressive large-scale pieces I hadn't seen before.

And, just for kicks, a few other random shots from around the place...

And then it was time to go meet my friends at the Museum fur Fotografie, which houses the Helmut Newton Foundation. I quite liked the exhibition, but I cannot be bothered describing it, beyond saying it was room after room of topless models in heels, and framed condolences from Richard Gere and Jacques Chirac. Google that shit if you're interested.

So today I said auf weidersehen to Berlin and my beloved Michelberger Hotel. But I'll be back, baby. I ain't done with you yet.