Thursday, June 30, 2011

Six million dead Parisians can't be wrong

A while back, I enjoyed a whirlwind trip to Perth to see Best Coast (bit av, to be honest) and attended some PIAF events with friends and family.

After Best Coast finished their set, I was standing around on my ownsome at the ever-delightful PIAF Music Box, waiting to meet some friends, when a somewhat handsome stranger said to me 'Are you ok? You look lost.'

We end up chatting for a couple of hours, and despite that fact that he should maybe be filed under bag, douche, I kinda liked him and was enjoying his company.


Eventually, my friend KB found us and joined the conversation. I introduced her to the handsome stranger. 'This is my friend KB. We're going to Paris together later this year.'

Handsome stranger: 'Oh, I've just returned from Paris! You guys will love it. Make sure to visit the catacombs... they're amazing, it'll blow your mind.'

KB: 'Are there rats in the catacombs?'

Handsome McSwoondog: 'Yeah, quite a few....'

KB: 'Imagine if you just looked down and a rat was nibbling at your vagina.'

Handsomepants: '________________________________.'

Later that night, as we walked to the car, KB said 'How do you know that guy?'

'I don't. And nor am I likely to, now.'

--

KB and I made it to the catacombs after a two-hour queue on Sunday. No rats, but climbing 30 metres underneath the streetscape to survey the neatly-stacked bones of six million dead Parisians was totally worthwhile. What a trip.


We then met up with the other ladies for a picnic in Le Jardins du Luxembourg. Heaven. Thousands of Parisians enjoying the sunshine and the free classical recitals in the park. We sat, we ate fromage, we LOLled. Good times.





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St Germain, the South Yarra of Paris

Last Thursday I caught up with a dear friend from Melbourne who's spending the summer living the dream: renting an apartment in St Germain and studying French at the Alliance-Francoise.

I ventured out on my own to bash down a couple of coffees on the recommendation of a barista mate who's living in Berlin. Well, call me Ms Parochial Pants, but I loved Eggs&Co, which serves amazing coffee down a laneway off Rue de Rennes. (I can't help it. I'm a Melburnian, I like coffee and I like laneways. No further correspondence will be entered into.)


My latte and ristretto were both pretty perfect, and the barista was a Frenchmen who had formerly lived in Sydney, and was very fond of Australians and our coffee culture. He also gave me a couple of recommendations for other cafes which were equally lovely.


After meeting my friend, our first stop was Sephora which is my favourite purveyor of prettifying things in the whole wide world. I asked my friend how her French was and if it was improving. She said it was crap, and then proceeding to ask the salesgirl if they had any make-up remover wipes. Hmmm. Methinks she underestimates her vocab skills.

She then took me to visit her gorgeous apartment, where we sat for a while, drank tea and gossiped, before heading out to lunch.


The gorgeous salon du the we chose was quaint and charming and our smoked salmon salads were delicious.






We then shopped for a while, including a trip to the heavenly Le Bon Marche, widely considered to be one of the world's finest food halls. Agree.


St Germain did remind me quite a bit of South Yarra, where ordinarily I wouldn't spend time (except when I am invited to the charming and gracious home of a dear friend for dinner and Scrabble -- then it's a pleasure). I usually avoid South Yarra for its ostentatious wealth and a lack of the gritty charm that characterises my beloved inner north. But I had such a lovely afternoon, walking and perusing the boutiques amd stopping to buy a few gifts for friends here and there. I'll be back, St Germain -- I'm not done with you just yet.

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Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Why I love soldes and the perfect Paris ensemble

Unbeknownst to me, in Paris there are two official, government-regulated periods when stores offer sales (soldes). Equally unbeknownst to me, but extremely welcome, was the fact that I arrived in Paris in the middle of these sales, with a respectably strong Australian dollar to boot. Tres OMG!

While I bought ceramics in Sweden and linens in Germany, in Paris it was all about the classics. Behold my perfect jeans companions: this APC navy trench...



...plus this APC stripey top...


...plus this glorious Anglo-Franco fashion mash-up, Liberty for Bensimon tennis shoes:



So what if I will be back in Melbourne in a week's time and need to wear spencers and scarves and stockings to keep warm? I will put these treats away for springtime, and in September will be happy to frolic around in some jardins and wistfully dream of the summer that was. Tres bien.

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Heaven again (part deux in a series)

I went to heaven again on Wednesday, although it was a different heaven to the one I visited in Stockholm two weeks ago.

Upon awakening in our Paris apartment, I sneaked downstairs to the boulangerie to purchase some petit croissants, fresh rapsberries and exquistely delicious yoghurt for the girls. After the seven of us showered, put our faces on, styled our hair, checked our various emails and Facebook accounts on one extraordinarily slow computer with a wacky French keyboard, we ventured out into the chilly summer downpour in search of cafe au lait and adventures.


Myself and three others spent the day at Le CentrePompidou, France's premier gallery for modern art. And if I were to say it was one of the best days of my life, well....


The collection itself was truly astonishingly wonderful, but the best thing about the Pompidou, for mine, is the exceptional design of the building. When it was built in 1977, the artists had a vision of inverting the structure of the building to expose its inner workings to the public. This resulted in the service structures being placed on the building's exterior: so escalators are yellow, elevators red, water pipes blue and gas/electricity are green. Amazing.


I won't bang on about the collection, because I am even worse at describing art than I am at photographing it. But it was amazing and some very happy hours were passed perusing the five floors of work.















One of my traveling companions suggested we eat at George's, on the top floor of the Pompidou. This was my first experience eating in a Michelin-starred restaurant, and one to which I would like to become accustomed. The view was incredible, and the food divine (as evidenced by my traveling companion's droolworthy club sandwich).


But the whole experience of being in Paris with dear, dear friends, eating exquisite food overlooking one of the world's most charming cities, was far greater than the sum of its parts. It was so special I very nearly wept. One of the girls took a beautiful photo of us at lunch, and I can't wait to print it, frame it, grow old and fondly look back at how lucky I was to be in Paris with my girlfriends when we were 27.





That night was also pretty wonderful. We went to the tres chic Marais district to see Bright Eyes, which was amazing. I had often dismissed Conor Oberst as a twee popster best-known for his short-lived affairette with Winona Ryder, but he put on one hell of a show.


I write this from the terrace of our villa in Nice, which is yet another kind of heaven. It's 8pm, not even close to dusk, and I'm wearing a swimsuit and a linen shirt and enjoying the peaceful companionship of six dreambirds who are variously cooking, napping, swimming, bathing and reading. It would appear that there are as many kinds of heaven as there are of gods.

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Saturday, June 25, 2011

Pardonnez-moi for the lack of posts

Posting to this here chopsalog has been infrequent this week due to zero wi-fi access, and seven girls sharing one supremely crap computer with a non-QWERTY keyboard. In short, having a tres magnifique time in Paris, off to Nice on Monday. Today we have planned a trip to Montmartre, steak frites, and a public lecture at Shakespeare and Co. Amor! xx

Thursday, June 23, 2011

A refreshing douche on a hot summer afternoon, or: the kindness of the French

On Tuesday I had a travel day, from Rotschuo/Brunnen/Basel/Paris. It was fairly uneventful until the last legs of the journey. At Basel a very classically handsome older man was seated beside me. Beyond the standard Bonjour, comment allez-vous? he promptly fell asleep behind his classic Wayfarers. He was a most intriguing individual for some reason, and I really wanted to know his back story. Anyway, after a few hours he woke up and I was writing on my iPad which intrigued him. He hadn't seen an iPad before and wanted to see how they worked. Anyway, one thing led to another and we started chatting. Turns out he is a French actor (both theatre and film), and before you ask, no he was not Gerard Depardieu (although you would be forgiven for thinking that ol' Gerard is the only Frech actor in existence.) We had a wonderful conversation in broken English/appalling French and he gave me a train ticket before we went our separate ways at Gare du l'est.

Unbeknownst to me, there was a hideous train strike on the Metro on Tuesday. I am not sure of the French translation for complete clusterfuck but it certainly was one. I was asking a guard who spoke no English what the hell I should do, given that all trains to my destination had been cancelled, when a kindly and chic French woman called Barbara grabbed my hand and dragged me through the revolting, breathless underground and took me on an alternate route to get to my destination. It was hot and I was tired and also wearing clogs (idiot) with a massive suitcase in tow (double idiot) and I am so grateful to Barbara for her kindness in delivering me, two hours later, to my station. Hilariously, Barbara is of the age when women experience The Change and was undergoing some unpleasant hot flushes in the already-stuffy Metro Underground. She kept saying how much she wanted un douche which means shower in French. I wanted to tell her that unfortunately I could not provide her with a shower but if she really wanted a douche there are plenty of Australians I could introduce her to, should she ever be in the neighbourhood.

Additionally, no less than three different, handsome and charming Frenchmen carried my extremely heavy suitcase up and down long flights of stairs on this journey. Babes, all of them. I asked Barbara if this was normal and she said "yes, but because you are young and beautiful." I assured her that nothing similar had ever happened in Australia and nor was it likely to.

Within two hours of crossing the French border, all my expectations regarding the French as a deeply unpleasant and derisive people were utterly shot to merde. Between the actor, Barbara and the three lovely suitcase-haulers I had to accept that the French are in fact as lovely and helpful as anybody else (and in the case of heavy lifting they are especially agreeable).

I arrived at our Parisian apartment two hours late, sweaty and exhausted, but was greeted with such warmth and excitement from my six girlfriends, who had been waiting on our eighth-floor balcony for me, with telefoto lenses on their cameras as though they were professional paparazzi. We squealed, we walked through our neighbourhood and ate omelets at a charming little bistrot before going to heaven again yesterday. More to come.

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Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Doing SFA in a no-horse town

To describe Rotschuo as a one-horse town would be a case of generous overstatement. There are no horses to speak of in this tiny village in central Switzerland. So there's really not a great deal to report.

Today I walked for an hour to the town and stopped on this bench to write some postcards.


Then I walked a little further, puchased seven stamps and sent my postcards on their merry way back to Australia.

I came back to the chalet, swam in the lake, then destroyed a few hours napping in this hammock.


Really, for the past few days I have been doing sweeeeeeeeet Fanny Adams. This is good and necessary, as a) I've been really tired after the sensory overload of Berlin, and b) I travel to Paris tomorrow to meet a gaggle of six girlfriends.

The last time I got to go on holiday with a couple of these girlfriends (two of the finest women to ever draw breath) we were in second year uni, and spent a glorious week on Rottnest Island behaving like megabogues by hijacking the jukebox at the Quokka Arms every night and screaming to Chisel. (You know who you are.) Eight or so years older, but perhaps not entirely wiser, I can't wait to wander around Paris with these stellar broads. Coordinating this transcontinental get-together has warranted a group email stretching back since February and consisting of 187 messages at last count.

So it's guten tag/bonjour/arriverci, baby goats. Viva la belle France!


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Sunday, June 19, 2011

What I now know about the German economy, and also: BABY GOATS!

I will preface this by saying I know a first-world problem when I see one. First-world problems (hereafter known as 1WPs) are those kinds of situations which are deeply annoying to the world's wealthier citizens, but would be considered an extreme luxury to those living in second- or third-world nations. For example, your iPhone not picking up wi-fi is decidedly a 1WP. In the words of my father, "shut your neck."

Yesterday was full of 1WPs, as I travelled from Berlin to the tiny Swiss village of Rotschuo, on Lake Lucerne. This involved a train, a bus, a plane, another train, and then another, and then another bus, and one more. And I really do hate public transport connections.

An aside: even though I had no less than six (!) connections to make, some with only three minutes' lead time, I made each and every one of them without a hitch. This is testament to the efficiency of the German and Swiss transport systems. Cannot imagine trying to undertake a similar journey in Victoria without it turning into a giant dizazzo.

However, despite it being a long day with a lot of suitcase-hauling, it was not entirely unpleasant. At Warschauerstrasse, a man with a suitcase saw me looking at a subway map and offered to show me the way to Tegel Airport, as he was en route back to Paris. This turned into a most pleasant train-and-bus-trip, followed by espresso and croissants at the airport before boarding our respective flights.

Turned out that this bloke, Michael, is Germany's OECD representative, based in Paris. His job is to share Germany's best practice in macroeconomics with other OECD nations and also to nick good ideas from other countries. This was a most fascinating conversation, because Michael was able to explain to me how Germany had managed to weather the GEC so successfully. I had asked a few Berliners this question, but no-one was able to explain this satisfactorily. ("Hmm... Car manufacturing? Dunno.") Anyway, Michael told me that Germany was the world leader in developing green technology. There are 350,000 workplaces in Germany whose primary business consists of developing and exporting green energy solutions. He also told me that Germany has been successfully trading carbon for some time now, and could Australia pull its socks up on this matter, please. So the first two legs of my journey were passed with informative, engaging and lively conversation with a most interesting person. And a croissant.

The plane trip was uneventful. When I got to Zurich airport, I noticed that the airport smelled strongly of soap, in stark contrast to Berlin, which smells of urine, and Stockholm, which smells of clean sheets dried in sunshine and cut grass.

Halfway through the fourth leg of my journey, observing the outer suburbs of Zurich, I thought: "Seriously, Chops. WTF are you doing here? This looks like Lilydale, only the chateaux less faux. You could have seen this on a Zone 2 ticket." But as I got closer to Rotschuo, the landscape became pretty amazing pretty quickly.





When I arrived at the hostel, I heard some loud bell-ringing and again thought "WTF? Perhaps it is dinnertime or something." As it turned out, the bells were around the necks of the hostel's resident goats, who had given birth to baby kids just one week ago. The kids are the size of house cats (and decidedly less evil) and they can only walk backwards. They kill me.





My room, with its red shutters, panelled walls and checky blankets, is just picture-perfect. It is tiny, but that is ok.











Long-time readers of this here webular log may recall that I was entertaining fantasies of lying by the lake in a bathing suit and a floppy hat, reading one book per day. Instead, I am writing this curled up in the chalet, under a checky blanket, as a storm is rolling over the lake. Reading conditions: perfect. Afternoon napping conditions: ideal.





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Saturday, June 18, 2011

Hamburger-Bahnhof: sadly, no burgers, but a talking penis. Yep.

Upon awakening on Thursday, my last full day in Berlin, I felt overwhelmed by the amount of things I wanted to do before leaving. I believe the key to success is knowing one's strengths, so with this in mind, I chose to focus on what I'm good at: going to art museums and shopping in gallery bookshops.

A girl I met in Stockholm recommended Hamburger-Bahnhof to me, Berlin's centre for contemporary art. It did not disappoint.


Hamburger-Bahnhof is a disused railway station, which now houses a modestly sized collection of contemporary art. Structurally, the space is pretty amazing. It's been used well to transform the station into its current usage as a gallery.


The Bahnhof has two major strengths: land art and video installations. I find the former interesting, but the latter generally bores me. However, because I am immature, I did watch this piece for quite a while. It's just a man's head, upside down, speaking to the camera. The only reason it captivated me, however, is because it looked like a talking penis. With teeth.


I quite liked a number of the pieces for reasons that weren't entirely puerile. Richard Long's work, Berlin Circles, in the main hall, was my first introduction to the land art movement, and I was quite taken with it. Land art is a form in which the artist creates work by interacting with the landscape. In Long's case, sometimes he walked in a straight line for, like, AGES, and the line that he created is the artwork. In this exhibition, his focus was on the circle as a natural form. The scale of these pieces was truly impressive.


There was another piece that I really liked, which was Roth's Gartenskulptur. The poorly photographed wall text, below, contextualises the work.


Without this description of the evolution of the piece, it kind of resembles some weird Survivor immunity challenge, only with less of Jeff Probst's forearms and more stuffed rabbits. But it was a really enjoyable piece.






I quite liked a Polaroid exhibition called Secret Universe from German artist Horst Ademeit. Again, please trust what the professionals say as opposed to my ham-fisted attempts to describe the work.





Ademeit photographed the same stuff every day over decades -- mainly the readings on scientific instruments. He took tiny notes in the white space around the Polaroids (but thoughtlessly wrote these in Deutsche, so I couldn't read them).


One thing I admired about this work was Ademeit's commitment to documentation, which predates digital photography. If I had any desire to record and publish something every day (say, the lovehearts in the crema of my coffee, or the toothpaste I spit into the sink), I could do so quite easily, with minimal time and expenditure. That doesn't mean anyone would give a shit, mind you -- but that's beside the point.

My point, and I assure you I actually have one, is that Ademeit felt strongly enough about documenting continuity and change that he undertook this enormous project over many years, when photography was a far more expensive and risky undertaking than it is now. So hats off to Horst.

There were quite a few other things I enjoyed about Hamburger-Bahnhof. I've always liked Warhol's serigraphy, and the collection includes a few impressive large-scale pieces I hadn't seen before.






And, just for kicks, a few other random shots from around the place...












And then it was time to go meet my friends at the Museum fur Fotografie, which houses the Helmut Newton Foundation. I quite liked the exhibition, but I cannot be bothered describing it, beyond saying it was room after room of topless models in heels, and framed condolences from Richard Gere and Jacques Chirac. Google that shit if you're interested.

So today I said auf weidersehen to Berlin and my beloved Michelberger Hotel. But I'll be back, baby. I ain't done with you yet.






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